Playing

“It’s my belief that an artist should give people new glasses and a new cubistic approach to looking at themselves, so that they see themselves not in the mirror, but from behind their heads. By doing that, you hopefully widen someone’s experience of living” (Taymor writes in Creativity, Unconventional Wisdom from 20 Accomplished Minds on page 80).

Julie Taymor, among other actors and directors I’ve read about this year, used to perform stories with her siblings when she was little. I am ready to admit that I did not like the puppet shows and parades my friends cajoled me to perform for our parents or the neighborhood kids. I participated with smile, but I now admit I have unhappy memories of these. Sorry, those of you who remember those.

I much preferred the Group Theatre of the Bikes (we would ride around to the different “stores”/tree stumps/electrical boxes and buy things and then make ice cream from our upside-down bikes) or the Alone Theatre of My Backyard (I would create characters by the willow tree and burry treasures or make stew in the planters).  While seemingly trite and unimportant, I found a new way of looking at myself. I found creativity and freedom. I mean, who doesn’t learn about themselves while stirring leaves and rocks together with a stick?

So even though I’m not in my backyard or riding around my neighborhood, I still need to learn and grow. As Taymor says, I also need to give others new glasses to see themselves. I can’t do that if I don’t know myself… so I have something to offer. I think I’ll look through my own new glasses. The photo above is a strong memory of this journey for me – our ensemble piece helped us and our audience see our bodies, our lives, through new glasses. Good times.

Pessimism Dies Here

Give it up for Harold Clurman, ladies and gentlemen. Seriously. This guy created a theatre company devoted to learning and growing and bringing social awareness to 1930s America. While the Great Depression loomed tragically over New York City like a storm cloud, Clurman sat in the midst of it and found a smile. At one point, his theatre wasn’t doing so hot, so he was aimlessly walking around like the rest of the city. He writes about it by saying, “I was struck as if by the miracle of conversion with the feeling that no matter how bitter things became for me, personally, professionally, economically, I would never allow myself to be destroyed from within; it would never get me down; I would sustain all kinds of disappointment and distress without ceasing to believe, to hope, to love. I would never yield to the temptation of pessimism, to the ease of despair or withdrawal.”

Wow. I’m sitting in my huge apartment eating some amazing Trader Joe’s Red Dragon cheese and I want to complain about writing this ridiculously long paper, missing St. Patrick’s Day festivities, and listening to dogs barking incessantly (actually, whining is more like it). I’m going to soldier on, Mr. Clurman. Thanks for your optimism. I’ll write your vow on a sticky note and stick it on my Rosie the Riveter poster by my front door:

never to allow gradually the traffic to smother

With noise and fog the flowing of the spirit.

And when I feel like giving up on theatre or life or both (which is most obvious when I’ve watched 10 episodes of Arrested Development in a row or pressed Snooze even once or eaten a whole bag of peanut m&ms in one sitting), I’ll remember “It is not within thy power to finish the task, nor is it thy liberty to abandon it.” Now, this doesn’t mean I won’t watch 9 episodes of Arrested Development in a row or consider pressing Snooze or even eat half a bag of peanut m&ms. Of course I will. Some days need a little time to ignore the productivity fairy. Some days I smash her in my textbook. The point here is that I will stay sane. I will not allow conflict between my ideal and my real.

Donations of peanut m&ms happily accepted at Western Illinois University Department of Theatre and Dance.

Henry VI Departs for Loyola!

Brain Battles

I’m having a little trouble listening to my right brain. This is my left brain analyzing this idea. Perhaps I’m worried that my feelings, my big-picture-thinking, will get carried away and I won’t be able to stay grounded. Feelings can cause us to do crazy things. I wish I thought doing crazy things was good. If I moved more like a screw instead of a pin or a wall, I’d probably think more like it to. Stanislavsky’s Outside-In approach.  That would definitely help my back – I need my chiropractor to help me relax this tension.

This painting by Grace Hartigan portrays dynamic, motion-filled colors that could be interpreted as a landscape, a still life, figures, anything. I like the feeling in this painting. I could analyze it with my left brain, too, but as I work on my concept statement for The Heidi Chronicles, I realize that I’m falling into the same trap Heidi falls into: instead of being a painter or an innocent bystander, I’m “a highly informed spectator.” It’s time for me to be the painter instead of just an observer. Heidi finally makes strong choices in the climax of the play, and I’d like to think I can make my strong choices now instead of later.

My sister made a nice realization today about confidence. “If I go into the interview knowing that it’ll be okay if I fail or if I succeed, I can totally be myself. It’s much more enjoyable.” I like that. Failure IS an option, and I’m excited to see my growth as I fall on my face. And as for my right brain, creative inspiration tends to come at deeply emotional moments anyway. I’m gonna go listen to some Coldplay.

I give grad school an A

Walking in a Western Illinois wonderland

My first semester of graduate school is finished. As I stay with my brother, take care of my nephew, and make shopping lists for Christmas gifts, I find myself missing school. I miss my friends, I miss the rush to finish a play, write a paper, or complete a project, but thinking of next semester brings anxiety. I succeeded in meeting my goals my first semester, but I’m worried that as the demands increase, so will my weaknesses. I suppose I’ll just remember the Beetles song and get by with a little help from my friends. I’m glad I am in such a supportive environment. There was a moment in my evaluation meeting that I looked around the conference room full of professors and almost cried. I’ve never felt so much honest support. They had so much to say to encourage me in my growth, and I’m eternally grateful. So I’ll continue to watch TV and read The Taker and hold my nephew and relax. I know that next semester will go by just as quickly as this one did, so I’ll embrace every moment. Thanks for reading.

Love Song at WIU

Love Song

by John Kolvenbach

October 7 and 8

7:30pm

Simpkins Theatre

(Second Floor Simpkins Hall at Western Illinois University)

Come see this wonderful comedy about courage, love, routines, and cups.

Directed by first year grad MFA Kristin Katsu. Featuring the talent of Maggie Ellsworth, JJ Gatesman, Chester Shepherd, Barbara Charlene, and Lauren Miller. Free for WIU students and faculty, $2 for community members.

“Beane is an exile from life – an oddball. His well-meaning sister, Joan, and brother-in-law, Harry, try and make time for him in their busy lives, but no one can get through. Following the burglary of [Beane's] apartment, Joan is baffled to find her brother blissfully happy. [She] tries to unravel the story behind Beane’s mysterious new love, Molly.”

2 Shows, 1 Love

Cheese factor on the title, yes, I know. The image above shows Tommy Iafrate (on the right) hanging the cast list for SHE LOVES ME (by Joe Masteroff, Sheldon Harnick, and Jerry Bock), the musical I am stage managing. Be sure to check it out November 9-12 in Hainline Theatre at Western Illinois University.

The image below shows me (on the left) hanging the cast list for LOVE SONG (hence the title’s “One” love). Both SHE LOVES ME and LOVE SONG present a similar theme about the power love holds on us. We’ve started rehearsals for LOVE SONG, and I must say I chose a fantastic cast. They keep me on my toes, for sure! I’m having more fun because of it! More images and stories to come The show is written by John Kolvenbach and runs October 7 and 8 at 7:30pm in Simpkins Theatre at WIU.

Here I Go Again

This photo represents the fun and excitement coupled with hard work and concentration of my first days of Grad School here at Western Illinois University. You’ll notice the bear stamps are back, but this time they are joined by Japanese Samurai, all representing the cast of Oedipus Rex, as you can see by my Doodling notes.

I am feeling normal, believe it or not. Perhaps I’ve just been anticipating for so long or perhaps I’m just supposed to be here for sure, but whatever it is, this transition feels smooth so far. The bear stamps help.

Do you remember the scene change in Comedy of Errors this summer when Ronn distracted the audience from watching the actors set the door on stage? I asked him to play Egeon and peddle, but he added the line, “Pay no attention to the scene change behind me.” Sometimes we have those moments in life when we need a distraction from a major change AS WELL AS someone to remind us it’s actually just a distraction. My friends and my family did that for me. Thank you. Now the lights are back up and it’s my cue to go onstage.

Back to Oedipus. Does the picture of the text reveal how far I am? Or rather how far I have to go…

Enjoying Production Work

One of the few years I participated in giving up something for Lent, I decided to give up COMPLAINING instead of something more simple like eating Laffy Taffy. It was very difficult to say the least. When giving up something that seems so routine, complaining is part of it! “Oh, I can’t drink Coke for 40 days. How much does that stink? Am I right?” And then everyone around you talks about how awful it must be to live without Pepsi and Dr.Pepper and Sprite. And then after 40 days without carbonated beverages, you realize you actually felt better without it.

Hell week in the theatre is very similar. I complain all day about how I wish someone else would set up and tear down so I didn’t have to. Then while I’m actually setting up and tearing down, I want to punch someone. Then when someone asks if he can help, I snap at him, “Yeah! Just look around and do something! That’s what I do every day!” And at last when the production is over, I go through what I like to call Post Production Depression. I actually miss the hellish torture of setting up and tearing down.

So, with this production I gave myself a little pep talk. It went something like this:

“Kristin, you are about to make theatre a very large portion of your life. You made a decision to put theatre at the top of your to do list. Why? Because you love it! You enjoy creating theatre, meeting theatre people, and watching theatre. So quit complaining and enjoy it! What other profession involves creative people willingly going through a week of HELL for a few hours of fun and applause? It’s not just the actual few hours of performances that you love, it’s the process! Especially as a director, you enjoy the process. So quit your little show of complaining and smile.” And then I gave myself a high five.

So this production has been the most fun I’ve ever had! I’ve delegated a lot of the work so if I die, the show will go on, but I’m still in charge and doing most of the work, and that’s okay. Not many people get to have fun with fun people and get paid for it.

I’ll end with something Ronn Johnstone said the other day after complaining about something, “I shouldn’t have said that. Not many people get to live this long, so I’ll enjoy what I’m given.”

Theatre People

It’s been a few years since I’ve reenergized my theatre batteries. I attended workshops about improv games applied anywhere, characters with vitality, conflits that don’t make the audience want to punch their dates, and burlesque dancing that doesn’t make the audience want to punch anything! AND I breathed in the improv aroma from other states… and countries! I experienced 16 hours of comedy performances, 7 hours of dining and chatting about improv or natural foods, and at least 5 hours of schmoozing (that’s theatre-speak for partying).

The recharge is important for all theatre people because we need the confidence boost. I often doubt my value in the theatre. Is this worth it? And conferences or tournaments or festivals remind me that I’m a part of something bigger than myself, I have a support system and a network and a family all in one, and it IS worth it. The confidence is the backbone of performing improv (and living life). If life had a dissertation, guess what mine would cover?

This tournament was at a crazy time for me because of tech week for Shakespeare in the Park and packing to move to grad school, but it also was at a perfect time because I gathered that confidence I needed to keep on keepin’ on. This next month is going to punch me in my theatre face, and I need to have the confidence to punch back. Got it.

Extra credit: After reading this post, comment with your favorite metaphor OR comment with the exact number of metaphors used OR comment with a metaphor you would like to see used in a future post.